Click here to read Part I and Part II.
Background: While playing holiday (not Christmas) music in class, the Charlie Brown song comes on.
Popular ditzy seventh grade girl (PDSGG): "This is my JAM!"
Background: Girl from above wants to go to the library. She mispronounces library every time. We've worked on this before.
PDSGG: "May I go to the libarry?"
PDSGG: "You said to be productive! I need to be productive!"
Me: "Say it right."
PDSGG: "That IS how you say it!"
Me: "Look it up in the dictionary." She does.
PDSGG: "That is a MISPLACED 'R'!!!"
Background: PDSGG's class knows of my dislike for animals. We've talked about it often, because some of them like to fixate on things from time to time.
PDSGG: "You remind me of Snow White."
Me: "Yeah, it's probably because of my love for woodland creatures."
PDSGG: "Nooooo! It's because of your haaaairrrr." (Yes, I had figured that one out. I've heard it before.)
Background: Six eighth grade boys are in my room before school, some doing homework, some messing around, some taking a quiz. Boy I don't recognize walks in.
Me: "Who ARE you?"
Student 1: "I'm [Student 1].
Me: "Why are you in my room?"
Student 1: "Because I have homework to do. And all my friends are here. Can I be in your class?"
Me: "No. Sit down and do your homework."
And he did. So that's always good.
Student 2: "Look! We can dubstep!" (They couldn't.)
Student 2: "Keep it gangsta, Ms. K!"
Me: "First of all, no Ms. K. Not my last name. Second of all, you live in Nebraska. You are not a gangster."
Student 2: "Whatchu talkin' 'bout?"
Student 3: "How much money would it take for you to Gangnam style right now?"
Me: "Twenty bucks."
Student 3: "SERIOUSLY?!? I have that in my locker!"
I did not Gangnam style.
Finally, the last day before Christmas break, we spent the last fifteen minutes of each class playing a game the history teacher plays sometimes called "Ask Me Anything." As long as it's school appropriate, and I have the chance to decline to answer any question. Here are some gems from that day.
"Are you afraid you're going to become a crazy cat lady because you can't find a boyfriend?" -7th grade boy with no social skills.
That was bad. Thankfully, my class was horrified and said he didn't know, maybe I did have a boyfriend. I don't.
"What's your longest relationship?" (No.)
"Where do you live?" (No.)
"Do you have a boyfriend?" (Declined to answer.)
"What's your address?" (No.)
"What's your phone number?" (867-5309.)
"What's your favorite airline?" (Southwest.)
"Have you ever been emo?" (No.)
So that's some of the ridiculous things that have come out my students' mouths lately. I'm sure there will be more to come. There always are.
Are you a teacher? What are some ridiculous things your kids have said to you?